CHAPTER 36 (old story)

SECOND CHAPTER TODAY \o/

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I entered our old house, and all the memories hit me. It was a huge pang on my heart, i couldn't take it any longer. I went straight upstairs to my room. I opened the door of the dusty room, i was shocked by how dirty my room was. I quickly opened my old drawer, i searched and searched until i finally found the necklace, you wouldn't understand how happy i was as i found it, like a massive weight was removed from my chest, i thought i lost the thing that my brother bought for me on my birthday, i cleaned all the dust from it and wore it, i felt so relieved as i placed it on my neck. 


I looked at my room, it was fully pink, everything was pink.
I went to Faisal's room. I opened the light and found his room perfectly organized, well he was a really tidy man, unlike me who was messy all the time. His room was filled with pictures of me, him, our childhood and some of his friends. I opened his cabinet, took out his shalaih bag and filled it with stuff, i took his cap, his jacket and some pictures, i also took his perfume, the one he actually used, not the one i bought so i would spray on his clothes. I sat on his bed and remembered some of the memories that we shared, i can still remember the day that he called me and told me to open his drawer, the day he got me my iphone. I found his ipod, it was switch off since it wasn't charged for 3 years. I found his camera and laptop under his bed, i took those too.  I sat for a bit then went and closed the lights, before i left his room i looked back and said" bye faisal"


Finally, last but not least i went to my parents room. It was locked, but i still remember wain mama kanat etkhesh her spare key, i lifted the carpet and found, ahh just like old times<3.

I entered her room, and sat facing her mirror, where all her make up, perfumes and creams were, my father did not remove anything, kan yaby kelshay eykon mawjod 3ala 7a6at omy. I found her bekhour and put that into my bag too, i wanted to change 100%. I wanted to become the second version of my mother. 

I opened her bag closet and found all of her bags in a specific order, some of the bags were still in fashion, they were classics. I took my mothers hand bags too. I don't know why but i felt like i had to open her side drawer. When i opened it i found a book that was written from the front 
مذكرتي اليومية

Which i guess was her daily diary? I didn't know, but hopefully i'm going to know everything tonight! 

I also found mama's picture album, it was HUGE, it could literally fit more than 400 pictures.

I grabbed everything that i could since i was in a hurry, baba only let me stay for 1 hour. I called james and told him to come to the second floor, he carried all the stuff. 

I went to the living room and took all of the videos that we had, our childhood videos.

As i was walking downstairs i remembered that i wanted to take Faisal's blanket. I ran back upstairs and got it. 

I put it in the car then entered the garage, i opened the lights. It was even more dusty than upstairs. I saw something really big that was covered in cloth. I removed it and the pain returned into my heart. I saw Faisal's car, the car that took them away 

I opened the passengers seat, not the drivers. The one that mama was sitting in. The seat's color was beige, you can see the blood spots, my mothers blood. Then on the car's floor, i saw my mama's bracelet, which had her name carved in it. My eyes were full of anger, full of sadness, full of hurt. I took the bracelet and put it in my pockets. 

: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I yelled my heart out, i yelled with every thing in me

I was really angry, angry for losing them, angry for living without them. I took the baseball bat that was on the floor, without any warnings i started hitting the car, hitting it harder with every time. 

Till the glass broke, james was running, he was terrified with what he saw, he saw another hessa. A broken hessa, a angry hessa. 

James grabbed the bat from my hand, when i looked at my hands they were full of blood, the glass entered through my skin

James: What the hayyyyl are you doin?? You crazy or what?

Me: go away james

James: no i ain't goin no where, now tell me. What the hell just happened

Me: EVERYTHING HAPPENED OKAY? NOW TAKE ME HOME, AND STAY AWAY FROM MY BUSINESS 

I've never been this rude to james, but what was i supposed to do

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I got out of the car, my hands were killing me, they were burning, the blood ruined my shirt.

I opened our house's door when the "guy" was opening it too, but from the other side. 

He looked at my arms and shirt and said: Sh9aar?? Shfeech chethy??

Me: walah shay

I walked upstairs when i heard him call my father

Before i could reach the second floor i heard my father yell out : HESSA!

He never yelled at me

Me: na3am

Baba: nezlay ta7at. Al7een!

I walked right back down the stairs, thank you flaan for ruining my day even more.

I entered the basements living room, letting my hands hide behind my back. 

Baba: shnu 3ala bloustch?!??!!

Me: 3a9eer

Baba: testahblain 9a7? Wareeeny eedch

Why is he yelling at me with this guy behind him!

I showed him my hands then he said: Shnu hatha?! Mnu sawa chethy feech! 

Me: ma7ad baba, khala9 ana barou7 dary

I turned around and he said: laman akalmch etshofeny w tan6reny laman akhals kalamy! Ana ba3arf shsalftch elyom? Men yeetay men el jam3a wntay tabcheen! Re7tay el bait elqadeem w radaytay kelch dam! Fahmeeny sh9ayr!

Me: Taby t3arf sh9ayer? Walaht 3ala omy w okhoy! Hatha ely 9ayr! mn twafaw w enta mo ma36eny wayh kelsh! Ana mo ga3da agol enk emga9er wyay eb shay ! La enta 3a6aytny kelshay aby ela shay wa7ed! Ma 3a6aytny oboy ely kan eygoly la2, al7en kel ma aby shay tgol eh 3ashan ma a7n fog rask, 9ayer malek khilgy kilsh w taby t3arf laish ga3da abchy? Lana wa7da bel jam3a yatly w galatly ina faisal kan ey7bha! eh baba kan eyb7bha! w ey7bha mn kel galba ba3ad! kaan eydezlaha voice notes ba3ad! Tby tesma3?ka esma3!

And i played the voice note that i heard in my room, ely 3an my birthday.

A tear fell from my father's eye. I've never saw him cry before! Except in the funeral, other than that, he was stiff as a rock. 

Baba pulled me into a hug i couldn't stop crying

Me: baba walaht 3alayhom, may9eer chethy walah ta3abt, aby omy, aby faisal, khalas walah mara7 a2athey omy wala a3andha mara thanya, bas aby ashofha baba, aby alemha, aby abous ras'ha, aby faisal ey6afrny w ayee at7al6am 3ndk w 3nd mama, please baba abyhom walah abyhom

Baba: haman ana 7abebty haman ana, bas hathy ktbat allah, manegdar ngol shay, bas ed3elhom

I went to the washroom to wash my face, then came back to find only the guy sitting

Me: wain oboy?

Guy: 3amy 9a3ad fog, kan bybadel w bywadech el6beeb, bas geltla la2 3ashan 7ayl ta3ban fa ana bawadech

Me: la mashkor agdar aro7 wya elsayeg

Guy: ana gelt bawadech, yallah emshay

Me: uffff

Shlon oboy eykhaleny wya 9bay bro7na? Things are surely unanswered 

I walked outside and entered his black colored GMC. 

Guy: e7mm

i looked at him

Guy: my name is Zaid btw

His accent was really good, like he've lived in America for a few years

Me: ana 7e9a

Zaid: tesharafna

He extended his arm for hand shake then i showed him that my arm was full of cuts

Zaid: ba3arf intay shsawaytay eb ro7ch, laish za3lana

Me: please lat'thakerny, mara7 tefham

Zaid: emm 3ala ra7tch

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Okay so they wrapped both of my arms, they look like gloves since they only reached on my hand.

I got back to the car and Zaid said: haa al7en bedam ena khalasna taben ice cream?

Me: la mshkor

I really wasn't in the mood

Zaid: ma9adeg mataben bared? a7la shay beldnya

Me: haha laa maby mu meshtahya w ta3bana

Zaid: khalas okay al7en aredch el bayt:p

Me: okay

I got out of the car and said: mashkoor wayed

Zaid: shda3wa ma sawayt shay

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After i took a shower and wore my new fresh clothes i sat on my bed which had faisal's blanket<3

I put his ipod and camera on the charger so i would look at them by tomorrow

Maryam entered my room and sat on the side of my bed. 


Maryam: 3ndch wayed ashya lasm teshr7enha

Oh no, kelsh maly khulg

I didn't want to talk much so i just played on the voice note.

When it ended maryam's eyes widened and said: hatha mnu?

I looked at my lap, cause i knew the tears were coming back, i have to stop crying?

Maryam put her hand on my shoulder then said: faisal?

Me: eh

Maryam: 7abeeebty entay

She pulled me into a rib cracking hug

She made me feel better, after a while i said:

Mnu hatha ely ta7at wya baba? Shlon ey3arfa?

Maryam: hatha weld 3amch feras alah yr7ma, refej oboch, tathkerena?

Me: ehhh! laish wlda eb baitna?

Maryam: lana laman obo tewafa, oboch kan eloobo 7aga, kan ysawela kelshay lana ohwa an only child, w maskeen ahala kanaw met6algen laman kan 9gher w oma trekat'hom, kanat mo khoush wa7da, fa laman tewafa obo, ohwa ra7 w skan 3nd 3ama, bas 3ama rayal kber 7ayl, fa oboch ely raba, hatha kan refej okhoch ba3ad, shlon matathkerenaa? Al7en ohwa yeshteghel eb sharekat oboch

I placed my hand on my mouth, umbay 7aram:( 

Me: bas ohwa wyay bel jam3a

Maryam: eh akher sna jam3a, bas yshteghel ba3ad

Me: mashalah 3alayh

Maryam kept talking and talking, i was waiting for her to leave so i would read my mother's diary and listen to faisal.