CHAPTER 37 (old story)

*IMPORTANT*: The guys name ely kan ga3d eysa3d 79a bel jam3a w ely kan eb bayt'hom esma Zaid, i changed his name, fa latetkharb6on:p
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After Maryam gave me a lecture about life, she finally went back to her room. Dont get me wrong, i love her, i really do. But i need sometime to sit by myself.

I first went and closed the door, then closed the lights and opened the lamp that was beside my bed. I opened mama's diary.

(It was written in arabic bas baktba ehny em3arab:p)


-Elyom 3eed melad bnty Hessa, akheran 9arat 14 sna. Maraw 14sna chenhom 14 yom, kelyom tkbar wt9er a7la w a7la, lail7en at'thakar awal yom dawemat feh, kanat 7ail khayfa, marethat etro7 elmadresa ela mkhalya rosy etsawelaaha 2 ponytails. Kanat 4 sneen, tawha awal sna bel kg. Elyom wayed nas yayeen baytna, kelhom refeejat 7a9oona, 3ad ana khalayt faisal eysa3dny, w 6ab3an lulu maga9erat, wayed sa3edatna, smela 3alaih kelyom ga3da tekbar eb 3ainy akthar w akthar, 9ar tafkeerha tafkeer 7arem kbar, agdar a3tmd 3alayha eb ayshay, walah a7md raby kelyomm ena allah rezagny bnaya methel Hessa, w walad methl Faisal, inshalah allah eykhaleehom ley, w afra7 fehom, w ashoof 3yalhom.

Akhh mama chan zain walah chan zain, yalaaayt yomy gabel yomch, bas lel2asaf...

I closed my mama's diary and hid it in my bedside table, no one will know about this, no one will read her words. 

i took out their picture and just stared, ahh it hurts so much.

I really thought that i'd be over this, that i'd move on, that i wont cry anymore, but i miss them more with each and every day, i still remember mamas last words, she warned him to slow down, but he just wouldn't listen to her.

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I woke up at around 1 and took a shower, thank god i didn't have any classes today, i'm in such a mess.

I had to go back to the hospital 3ashan eyghayron el bandage, when i came back home me7sn was in the living room, talking on the phone. 

Me7sn: eh khoush, yallah 3ayal akalmk ba3dain, ma3a el salama

Me: hi

Me7sn: hala, okh sh9ar

Me: uh ta3archabt

Me7sn stood from the coach and hugged me. 

I was surprised by his action.

Me: haw shfeek

Me7sn: 7a9oona

oh no, maygol 7a9oona ela kasra kha6ra aw shay

Me7sn: laish matgolenly enech met'thayga? 

I looked at the ground, maby a76 3aini eb 3aina lana adre ena i'm going to burst out in tears.

Unfortunately, he lifted my head so i'm technically looking at him straight into his eyes.

Me7sn: shofay ana adre ena layomkn abadel mokan faisal, w law shnu asawy ra7 akon methla, w entay tadren eb hal shay, bas abeech tadren ena ana okhoch, w ma asma7 7ag ay a7ad eythaygch, walah artha ay a7d eeyjeesch wla 7ata sh3ara mnch, bas lasem tadren ena im always here for you, etha taben tetkalmain 3an allah yr7amhom faisal w khalty, tara ana mawjod, latest7en meny

And with that i cried, madre shfeny wayed abchy

I hugged me7sn and said: waaaaai3 m7sn 7adk cuuuute:( 

Me7sn: kaaak rayal shkobry tgolenly cute? 

Me: eh cuute:p

Me7sn: inzain tara ana you3an

Me: w qaasaman bla mn 3araftk wnta you3an

Me7sn: shasawy, degay 3ala oboy shofay etha yaby y6la3 wyana

Me: wyana? mn gal ba6la3

Me7sn: ana, yallah degay

I called baba, he couldn't come cause he and maryam had an appointment with madre mnu. 

Me: mayegdron

Me7sn: khalas gomay badlay

Me: me7sn walah maly khelg a6la3

Me7sn: ambala, yallah goomay, tabeeny arou7 ana a6al3lch lebsch ya3ny?

Me: la la khalas agoom

I quickly went and got dressed, i wore a simple white shirt which had a bow on one shoulder, with jeans, i grabbed my bag before i got out of my room. My hair was in a messy ponytail

Me7sn: abaaaaaih 7a6ay mekyaj, wayhch a9far

Me: la2 maly khulg

Me7sn opened the front camera of his iphone and put it on my face

Me: way khalas okay

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We went to smash burger, the village. Kel shwy me7sn gaym eysalm 3la a7d

Our order finally arrived, as we were eating i heard someone behind me say: halah m7aisn

Me7sn: halaaaaaaaaaaah walaaaaah! shloonk zaioood?

Zaid: bkhair el7mdela

I still didn't turn, so i didn't see him.

I could see his reflection from the glassed door, he was playing with hair in a messy way, he had a killer smile on.

Zaid: ela shlon ekhtk 3gb thak elyom?

Me7sn: kahy jedamk, es2alha bnafsk:p

I looked at me7sn ina bathb7k any second now

Zaid: e7m 79a shlonch?

I turned around to face him and said in a really low voice: bkhair el7mdela, inta shlonk?

Zaid: tamam walah

He smiled a toothy smile that made my heart melt

I smiled and returned to my seat

He said goodbye to Me7sn then left

After we ate me7sn bought me hot chocolate from nestle, my favorite!

6oool il6reeej me7sn kan ga3d eysolf, bas 3agly ma kan weya, i was thinking of one thing, when was i going to see Zaid again? Umbay adre ely ga3da agola kelsh mo men 6ab3y, w i did promise myself not to get involved with guys 3ogob salfat khaled, bas Zaid kan ghayr, ma3ana ma3arf walah shay 3ana, bas still kan ghair.

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I was rushing to class, not wanting to get late for Dr Ahmed's class! El7mdela i reached exactly on time!! I think this was the first time that Khaled actually noticed that im in this class, he gazed right into my eyes as i entered the classroom, he was shocked. 

I gave him a 7a8eer smile then sat

Dr: haa ashwa estatha 79a ma ta2akhartay elyom, mashkora wayed

I looked at him, my eyes were gonna fall from their sockets, how rude?

Dr: wayh intay ba3ad ilyom matrden? Shfeech 6arma

Me: law sam7t dr etha btkalmny, tekalam eb adab, wla la tetkalam bel mara

Madre shlooon gelt chthyy!!!!!!!!! Umbay 7asayt yaby yfla3ny

Dr: la walah? wtqleen adabch ba3ad haa? Shnu ahalch ma3rfaw eyrabonch?

I could hear khaled giggle in the back, malat 3alaih

Me: ma asma7lk tetkalam 3an ahaly chethy!

Dr: eh walah, elthaher oboch wayed dal3ch 3ogob ma tewafat omch, magemtay tkhafen men a7ad, la 7abeebty eb hal 9af tkooneen mu7tarama, w tsawen ro7ch ena 3endch akhlaq

Magedart asta7ml zyada, i grabbed my bag and was heading to the door

Dr: etha 3adaytay khe6wa bara el bab ba36eech F

Me: fail me:)

and i got out........ughh 7aqeeeeer!!!!!!!!!!

I won't cry for this jerk, he doesn't deserve it. Bas inshalah allah eysam7a

I remembered that i didn't have a car yet, so i had to wait till James would come

I went and sat in CR ely bel jam3a, walah knt 7ade emnfsa

I tweeted: 3omry ma sheft nas qaleeelen adab eb hal 6areqa, mako mestawa #pissed 

I got my drink and sat in a table

3 or 4 minutes later I received a whatsapp, but i didn't know who the number belonged to.

: sema3t 3an ely gala dr ahmed 3anch, layza3lch hal dr ohwa qalel adab, walah el7aya mateswa ena tez3len:p so cheer up

I still didn't reply, mashalah the word spreads fast in this university, the person was online, suddenly they were on a typing status

: hmm ashof ina lail7en mako ebtesama 3ala wayhch:p what should i do to make you smileee:p 

I still didn't reply

: -okay mako ela 7al wa7d lana your not smiling!!!!

-تعريف النذل هو اللي يسولف معك بالحصة ويضحك و إذا التف المدرس قال: ياخي إسكت خلنا نفهم 

LOL tha7akt 3ala 6ool lana thakaratny el nekta eb lulu ayam highschool:p

: - ohh i see a smile!! okay okay another one

-فقط في الكويت: إذا قلت حق واحد لا تحلف يقولك والله ما حلفت

LOOL 3ad hathy thakeratny eb zayooon, kela ta7lf chethb=))

:-yasalaaaaam im on fire, your smiling :D:D:D Yallah akher nekta

-هل جربت أن تفاجئ صآحبك بدون أي مناسبة بهدية؟ جرب ستبتهج أكثر عندما ترى حجم بهجته 

أبهجوني يا مال الباهج اللي يبهج وجيهكم

Magedart at7amal, ba6ayt'ha the7kkk!!!!=))

Finally i replied: LOL thankyou so much:p may i ask who this is?

:Mnu tetwaqa3ain eny akon?;p

Me: hmm madre walah:p mnu entay:p

:Okay awal shay ana mu bnt, thany shy you know me:p fet7ay 3yonch w mukhech wet3arfen:p

I looked up to search for a guy who's holding a phone, well i kinda failed at finding him since EVERY guy in this cafe was using his phone:)

There was a guy sitting in the far back corner, just staring and smiling

I squinted my eyes so i would see him better

& guess who was it?:)

Zaid:'(

My phone buzzed so i looked at it wela there was another message

: found me?:p

I smiled and replied: i think so:p z?

:yeaaah:p 

I smiled and said: haha:p thankyou for the jokes, walah they made my day:p

Zaid: la 3ade shda3wa ma sawayt shy:p bas el mohem tha7aktay:p awal mara ashofch teth7ken men sheftch, kela z3lana:p

Me: laa mo za3lana, bas hal cham yom madre shfeny, mo 3ala b3thy

Zaid: eh la7atht hal shay:p 

Me: men wain 7a9alt raqmy?

Zaid: secret:p

Me: la jad:p

Zaid: lol 3amy 3a6any eyaa:p 

Me: ayshay?

Zaid: walah, shfech mn9adma:p

Me: madre, lana kelsh matwaqa3t oboy ya36y raqmy 7ag 9bay

Zaid: intay ymkn matadren 3an hal shay, bas oboch ye3tbrny wlda, ya3ny laman 3a6any raqmch kan 3ashan adeg 3alaych laman te6l3en men el dr, mo 3an shy thany:p so dont get the wrong idea

a7 dagra

Me: la magelt shay:p 

Zaid: eh zain:p

I was interrupted by james who was calling me, i knew that he was outside

As i stood from my chair Zaid looked at me, our eyes met for like 5 seconds he was smiling, so i smiled and left.

I felt butterflies all over my tummy. 

I hoped into the car and said: heyy jamie!

No reply

Me: james?

No reply and he turned up the music so he wouldn't listen to me

Me: james!!!

James: what

Me: whats wrong?

James: ask yourself that question

then i remembered, i was really rude to him, back then when i was in my old house,  when i was taking my stuff.

I told him to turn off the radio, then i told him everything, why i was angry, why i smashed the car, why i was hurt

James: so why didn't you just tell me? i would've helped you break that car into bits and pieces, dont worry kid, i got your back, i'd never me mad at you even though you was rude to me

Me: oh james, walah tshawg, i love you man!!

James: duuuh, im james, who wouldn't love me?

Me: shut up and give me the aux.

I was jamming to Abdulmajeeds songs till i reached the avenues! I had to get a massage and a mani/pedi asap! so i went to spa time.

After i relaxed all of my muscles, i was finally done. 

I went back home and was surprised that we had a dinner party, ahal s3ood (rayel yara) w ahal yousef (rayel yasmeena) were gonna come 7ag il3asha, w this was really important. Annnnnnnnd guess mnu baba 3azam? \o/ ZAID!