CHAPTER 19

Before i write this post, i would like to thank @Binshattan_ A LOT for his help and support!


i spent the day with alzain and lulu, chan as2al maryam etha ngdar nrou7 el shalai bachir galat ok, i invited alzain and lulu to come.


(Your going to know alzain's personality by the next post)

Gelt 7ag khaled ena ray7eeen el shalayh lana uhwa ehnak

I picked up lulu and zayoun and we went, my father was already there.

We passed by bucks jlai3aa, when we got down i saw khaled


yaaa chan eygoul: salam shlounch

Me:zayna u? matkhaaf a7ad eyshoufk etkalmny in public?

Khaled: el7amdellah, laysh akhaf etha ana wyaach?

Me: haha

when i turned around i saw fay, she gave me a dirty smile then left.

Was that a threat? i didn't know.

Meshayna w re7na el shalayh.

after an hour i received another pin msg that said: im still not done with you, don't think that im done.

wayhy gelab a9far. who is this person and what is she/he planning to do?

i was sitting watching tv with zayouun w lulu wla faj2aa me7sn dash w khaled kan wara, khaled 6ala3ne eb ne9 3ayn chan yamshy.



i checked bbm wlaa he deleted me, he unfollowed w blocked me b twitter.

Shelsalfa?  kanaw ga3deen 9oub el ba7ar, gelt barou7 ashouf hatha shsalfeta

re7tlehum wlaa raga3t el salfa chan agoul: ahh me7sn tabe el rhino lana ana w rab3y nabe ne6la3 feeh

Khaled: yallah me7sn ana mashy

Yestahbel?

Me7sn: la mabeee bs latba3den, shfeek khaled laysh ray7

Khaled: mu mrtaa7, akalmk ba3dayn

Me7sn: 3ala ra7tk

3a6any nathra wa9kha chan yamshy

amout wa3arf shsaawayt?

I got another pin msg that said: haa 7asaytay laman i made khaled dump you? haha, hatha walah shay men elee beyelch.

Galbe wegaf, i felt like i wasn't breathing. Shdarahum 3ane w 3an khaled?

Dakhalt elshalayh wlaa lulu w zayoun s7abouny w rakebouny el rhino ghasb, re7na markaz sultan wla shefna fay, yaat s7abatny wgalatly: hi 7a9oona, umbay et9adgeen a7san shay sawwayty eb 7ayatch uhwa ena hadaytay khaloody, al7eeen akheeran 9ar 7agyy (in a dala3 way)

Me: shnu?

Fay: sema3teeeny

she showed me a convo with her and khaled:

Fay:
hallah wlah

Khaled:
halah feech, wallah mashkoura maga9artay gelteely 3an 7e9a w af3alha el wa9kha, hathy bnya mu mtrabya w matisti7i 3ala waieha, a7md raby hadayt'ha, allah ei3een u5ooha 3alaihaa.

Fay:
eh walah, kl ma a7awl agoulaha bas wa5ray 3an hal ashyaa tgouly, ohh chub w hedeeeny, maku fayda el bnt ray7a feha 3al a5er

Khaled:

eh wallah, el7amdllah ftakayt mehnaa, al7een 3araft wa7da a7san menha w testahel kelshay

Fay:

mnu hathy um 7ath?

Khaled:

entay, mashalah galbch abyath w yeetay w geltly

Fay:

mashkouur entaa!


Khaled:

el 3afou<3


Me: shloun tetjara2ayn wtsaween kel hal ashyaaa feny?

Fay: 7abeebty hatha walah shay, ne6ray laman agoul 7ag ubuuch w me7sn 3an el ashyaa ele tsawenha!

Me:

ay ashyaaa?

Fay:
etdakhneen wtwa3deen w ashyaa thanya alahuma yakafy, el7amdellah eny mu rfeejtch

Me:
SHAKU?? meta sawayt hal ashyaa? 3umry madakhnt wala wa3adt walah shay!

Fay:

eh eh ge9ay 3ala rou7ch eb hal kalam

3a6atny thaharha w meshat

What should I say? What did this mean? All these questions were clouding my mind but my heart was beating fast. I felt a pang of sadness that was surrounding my heart.

re7t 7ag lulu w geltlaha eny aby a7der, sa2alt laysh w shfeech w madre shnu bas mageltlaha shnu 9ar belthab6, laman 7edarna it was 3, radayt el bayt tesaba7t w re7t el magbara.

It was the closest place ele ume w ukhuy feh

adry ina mako banat eyro7on magaber bas walah magedart at7amal, a7taj umy 7ayl.

Khathayt rosy wyaay

I stared off outside the car's window while Jerry was driving us to the grave yard. 
Rosy was sitting right beside me and she looked worried.

khalayt'ha teg3ad bel sayara, nezalt w wgaft jedam gaber umy w ukhuy.

kanaw yam ba3ath.

I started talking, not to a person, but to a grave. yes, a grave.

i was holding a picture of her in my hands.

Me: hi mama shlounch? mu m9adga ena maraw 8 months w masheftch, law tadreen shkther walaht 3alaych, shkether ga3adt abchy 7ag leyaly, shkther atmana ashouf wayhch, law bas ag3ad wyaach 7ag 5 dgaaayg, bas aby ashoufch, ana walhana 3alych mama 7ayl 7ayl, galby ey3awrny laman ashouf banat eygoulon 7ag umhum mama, kelshay eb 7ayaty taghayar, walah shay thal methel ma kaan, baba ghayar madresty, fay mu refejty, ma gemt ag3ad w ashouf 7amoud w fahad, baba taghayar 3alay, kelman eyshoufny eygul eb galba: 7aram, maskeena, ma7ad ga3d ey3amelny nafs el mu3amala, maama a7tajch, law ashoufch eb 7lmy hatha yakfeeny, ga3da et9eerly mashakl wyed w mu 3arfa arou7 washky 7ag mnu, kel ma arou7 bayt yadety washouf khalaty w khawaly ashouf wayhch bedal wayehum, mama ana ta3abanaa 7ayl 7ayl, elkel ga3d yejra7ny men kel side.

ga3adt abchy, bas hal mara bechayt akthar men kel mara.

(for all you readers: 7emdaw rabkum ena umkum layl7een 3endkum, latgouloun: waaaay way3 umy maleeqa kela etgoul laa w madre shnu, 3erfaw ena hal shay 7ag ma9la7atkoum, allah khtha aghla shay 3endy, faa 7emdaw rabkom w 3erfaw ena entaw eb ne3ma)

I cried my heart out

With out any warnings, the closest people to you just disappear. As much as you cry, as much as your heart breaks into a million tiny pieces, they just never come back.

I felt a hand pat on my shoulders, lafayt wla lulu, 3younha kanat matrousa dmouu3


Me: lulu shayaybch ehny?

Lulu: 7asayt ena feech shay, fa le7agtch men baytch *sniff* 7e9a laysh matgoulenly ench ta3baana,laysh ana refejtch etha makun wyaach wagt el shdaa? 3araftay el mathal ele eygouloun rab3 el shdayd athnaayn? abeech t3arfeen eny wa7da men hal athnayn, w law 7awaltay twakhreeny 3an 7ayatch, ra7 ard wadakhel rou7y feeha

Lamayt'ha w bechayt w gelt: lulu el kel ga3d yejra7ny men kel mukan, ana walah mabe 7ag el nass ela kel khayr, laysh chethy ey9eer feny? ana 7ayaty makanat chethy, knt el bnaya ele 7ayat'ha kela the7k w wanasa w khbal, bas al7een? al7een ana el bnt ele 7ayat'ha kelaha chethb w asraar w mashakel

rekabna el sayara w radayna baytna, we7na bel 6reeej geltlaha kel ely 9ar wyaa khaled w fay.

Lulu: bnt el kalb matest7y 3ala wayeha? mu kafy ele saweta feech? lay meta? shnu ele tabe tou9ala?

g3edat etsbha, makhalat walah maasaba magalat'ha, 6ala3at kel ely eb galbha

Me: madre, bas mara7 asketlaha, w al7een ana ma3arf a7ad esma khaled w wa7da esmha fay.

I've decided to not trust anyone anymore, not trust guys anymore.

Too many lies, too many secrets.

Lulu went back home at 11

baba came into my room and said: 7e9a shmwadeech el magbara elyoum?

Me: shdarak?

baba: jerry galy, enzayn majawabteny laysh re7tay?

Me: baba re7t azour umy, walaht 3alayha 7ayl

Baba: 7abeebty, may9eer trou7een w matgouleenly, law 9ayer feech shay ehnak ana sa3at'ha shasawy?

Me: baba mafakart, ana knt ta3bana 7ayl fa re7t

Baba: ta3bana mn shnu?

Me: khalas al7een 9ert a7san

baba: ok el mara elyaya lasm etgoulenly, ana 7athartch al7een

Me: enshalah